Random thought for the day:
In the 80s and early 90s the ultimate symbol of geek-dom was a poket protector and tape on the glasses. Just watch Revenge of the Nerds for confirmation of the stereotype. I suppose in the 70s and 80s the concept of a geek was quite different since we relate the phrase so strongly to the computer industry but there had to be an equivalent iconic item for the bookish types.
Well, times they are a changin’ and with a new age comes a new symbol for geeks. These days geeks are economically unmarginalized (I like big words today), they are powerful figures, they are kings. Or in the words of a recent web comic "We run shit" (10 points to the reader sending me a link to this one). That means no more tacky plaid shirts. No more high water pants. No more bowl cuts. And most of all, no more glasses on which to place tape. Get some contact lenses. Get some laser eye surgery and a haircut. Take your stock options and hit the mall where the girls who would never look at you in high school will be happy to sell you the latest fashions complete with their phone number inked on the receipt because you are looking a lot better with the plush developers salary.
So what are the new symbols of the geek? Here are my suggestions ranked in levels of geekiness from low to high:
- A PDA. Best that is has MP3 playback and tons of games but even if you still carry that old Palm IIIe you have taken a step on the path of geek righteousness. You will never see a geek with a Franklin Planner. (As a side note, is there truly any use for a pocket protector anymore? Who writes on paper enough to need a bevy of Bics clipped to the shirt pocket?)
- A Phone/PDA combo. Everyone has a cell phone these days but the true tech head sports a "convergence device". Something that neatly wraps up the PDA, camera, music player and personal assistant in a package that is too big for a phone and too small for anything else. Which brings us to level 3…
- Anything with a tiny QWERTY keyboard. See, real geeks have been weaned off of handwriting. Hell, we can barely sign our own names anymore. What you really need is a tiny keyboard that can take advantage of all those amazing muscles you developed playing hours upon days upon weeks of Mario Brothers. The thumbs are the thing here. Why let those hard earned callouses go to waste?
- A computer to person ratio greater than 1. Geeks like gear. Not just pocket sized gadget gear but big solid sturdy gear that requires a quick check with the zoning commission before installing. If you know someone who has several computers strewn about their home you have met a geek. (Note that for this rule to apply, at least one of the machines must either be homebuilt or upgraded by the owner to the point where it is no longer street legal in Nevada. A good sign is when the computer has its own neon lighting effects.)
- A fully functioning PC in the car. In car DVD players are last year’s news. OnStar is for wimps. True geekiness demands that you pimp your ride with some serious CPU action. Why haul CDs around when you can stash a media server under your seat. Need directions? No problem. Pop in the wireless data card of your choice and cruise Google Maps. This is extreme geek behaviour but does not top the list. Our final mention is reserved for something subtle, elegant and completely overlooked by the general population. The new icon of the geek culture is…
- A USB Flash drive on a lanyard. Take a look around the office tomorrow. Can you spot the geeks? Their clothes are better than you father’s geeks. More and more often their hair and personal hygene conform to societal norms. The geeks have gone mainstream. But there is still one way to tell for sure. Like any secretive society, geek culture has its secret handshakes, its lodge pins and its badges of honor. For today’s IT Professional and all around geek the lanyard based USB Flash drive is his concession to his true self. You will never see the head of accounting carrying one. Or even the mailroom delivery guy. But at every level of an organization, the geeks have their portable storage. From desktop techs to web developers to the CIO you can be sure that geek blood courses through the veins of these dongle weilding folks. The beauty of this badge of membership is that it is not likely to become a mainstream fashion accessory. Who wants to carry around a competely useless accessory that doesn’t go with anything you’re wearing. Only someone who has need of quick and easy file transportation, rescue software, or a spare operating system would drape such a thing around their neck.
There you have it, the levels of geekness. I’m sure there are some I missed but that’s the beauty of the Internet. Very soon a geek will be along to correct his bretheren.
Now if you will excuse me, I have to go restore someone’s hard drive.
